Life of an Introvert

People think introverts are shy and reclusive, but that just isn’t the case. Introverts, on the other hand, get energized from internal impulses (thoughts, feelings, ideas) and get more than enough stimulation from their own thoughts.

Friends are people with whom we spend most of our quality time. But, a weird thing happens when I unexpectedly run into my friend in town. I don't know how to start a conversation then, and instead, I have this "Yeh idhar kya kar raha hai? (What's he doing here?)" voice in my head. Last year, my college friend rang me up and told me about his whereabouts in Mumbai. So I picked him up and we roamed the city for a while. Then we went to Phoenix Mall, had a beer, bought a shirt, and drove back home. We did this for a week and a half. It was fun and simple, why? Because he informed me a week early, and that made things pretty simple. Of course, in the end, I had time to be mentally prepared to socialize, even with the closest of us.

I started the gym on January 2021, as I've been pretty much free since the last year. So, on the first day, everything was great and my personal trainer trained me well for a couple of days. But one day, I forgot to pack a pair of socks and I didn't have a spare one in the gym bag. I remember my personal trainer had told me to reach out to him, be it medical or any gym-related issues. When I decided to reach him out, there was this group of 2 boys and 3 girls, talking to my trainer about diet and nutrition. So I decided to wait for them to finish. The chatterbox group never took a break, despite the trainer nodding his head, totally uninterested in their personal lives. After wasting 10-12 minutes staring at the reflection of the counter, on the gym floor, I decided to leave, without telling anybody. I felt tired in that crowd. I decided to retreat in my own mind and rest that day. So yes, I skipped my leg day workout. I bunked that day and drove around the city for an hour and a half.

Back in college, I was roll #1, and that was something devastating to me, and comforting for the rest of my class. I was a backbencher, and one day, as I was listening to my Spotify playlist, pretending to focus in class, the professor suddenly went, "Okay, so let's begin with the seminars, starting with roll #1." 48 others rolled their eyes on me and I bent down (pretending to tie my shoelace) to pause the song with the "Oh FFS, man!" voice in my head. With all the stage fear, nervousness and overthinking, I managed to do the seminar and my friends were co-operative enough NOT to ask questions at the end.

I feel comfortable when I'm along with my friends. My introverted nature diminished a lot in fourth year of college, when two things helped me improve my social networking, football and c.indica. I played football three hours a day, for 4-5 semesters, along with EEE,, ECE, mech and civil guys. So whenever a junior/senior joined us, neither of us felt uncomfortable because we all had that one common passion among us; football.

During the fourth year, when we had the debates as a part of technical round in company recruitment, I remember my friend and I were mute and grasped everything till the session end. I didn't like the group work and preferred independence as it leads to more creativity. There was this extremely talkative girl who never let others put up their points/views. When the mentor pointed out to me for my opinion, I countered her opinion, and she yelled "Excuse me, are you saying that I'm wrong?" with the exaggeration and that high-pitch quarrel-like voice. Now, I did not feel nervous or stage fear because I was calm and composed, as I had grasped almost everyone's views/opinions. After hearing out our opinions, the mentor was quite impressed as neither of us were nervous and kept our composure. She labeled us (my friend and I) "rude" as we held back from talking, avoided eye contact, and didn't get involved in the debate.

Recently, few people asked me why I don't express my anger. My answer, "I think that anger might be an overreaction to petty issues. I prefer to smile politely and prefer not to speak out of emotional agitation". Maybe that's probably why I didn't get involved in a one-to-one fight/arguments till date.

So, you reached the end of this blog post. I didn’t think this would become that long of a story, but I am genuinely happy I could share this with you. It feels like a burden fell off my shoulders and that I can continue as the introvert blogger I am.


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